from then on is this fight worth it or such a waste of time ?! i don’t care if people think i’m not good enough or whatever but i gained every single respect i’m earning today . they gave me all i want . they gave me all the things my trainers expect me to have . but there is one piece missing in the puzzle . APPRECIATION . i don’t need every single material things i’m earning .i want to feel . i want to be felt . nothing more , nothing less . simple yet this is all i want . why play games with me ?! am i really that good or are you just waiting for that moment i break down and fall ?! you would never see me fall cause I’ve been there . broke down , tremble, stumble, cried and even gave up! what would be worst than you to be on my place ! i never felt this empty since that day i accepted to play this game . i’m insane, yes, i know . i gave up everything , even the chance of us becoming stronger ! gave up the things i’m comfortable with . now they are more comfortable flying on their own wings . still stuck u in this illusion that i’m gonna pull another person above and beyond anybody’s intuition . i’m held on a pedestal where it is frosted that i can no longer see my own reflection . the journey has begun . gonna slow down ?! gonna go back ?! gonna move forward ?! loosing grip on where i should be ?! now is everything still worth it ?! answer me back for i might return to the place where i started !
i was betrayed before but please no more ! i stood up higher the time i fall . i was bleeding and hurting when you first saw me . but nevertheless i trusted you . lay down my cards and showed the better me . you pushed me higher never thought you’d pull me lower . as expected you were a betrayer . a shadow of past persons i destroyed . conquering my soul and eating up my confidence and breaking a part of my heart that i offered you . why are you doing this ?! did i did something wrong ?! is this a punishment of the battles I’ve already won ?! i was hurt and so you were . it’s even ! but why hurt me more ? i’m starting to heal and yes i am .. the moment these wounds are sealed and scars are visible to you .. you’ll be a part of my past i already trampled and forgotten . thank you master .. thank you friend .. but i learned my lessons well . you taught me to be the same monster again .
mahirap kalaban ang taong nagmamagaling kasi wala kang mararating ! tama man sa iyong paningin .. hahanapin ang mali pa rin ! pilit kang hahaltakin .. iababaon at ididiin ! pakiusap lang wag ako . baka pagsisihan mo na ako ang kinalaban mo . higit pa ako sa taong inaakala mo .. wag lang kakantiin . papakainin kita ng asin .. hindi lang ikaw ang taong dapat pakisamahan ko . kasi marami ka pang lalagpasan bago marating ang estado ko .. san ka kaya pupulutin kapag ako ang iyong tinabing .. wag ng hintayin . masyado akong mainipin baka ika’y aking laitin ..
i am who i am . i admit i fall down several times . i am the monster beneath your bed , within your closet . fear is in my blood , i pump it in heart and i bleed it in my soul . i am careless . i break down . stumble and learned lessons through my heart . i am reckless in my words but i don’t eat what i threw out . i easily pique . but karma states , what goes round must go round .
there would be natural born . but i was created , i was trained and i would be your worst nightmare . i create my own rule and destroy facts and create a new world beneath your expectation .
cause everytime you pull me down I STOOD UP HIGHER .
there would always be a two side of the story . one would be yours and the other would be mine . know mine and create yours . don’t judge mine because i never banned you to do yours. that is your side and this is mine .
i can’t remember how long when i felt this way before .. I’ve been traveling a long long road to end up breaking down once again . all i remember when i last break down was when my trainer left me on a dark road . feeling helpless and never gave me a clue that this would happen . that this battle would be painful . that i need to guard myself and i shouldn’t be too careless . that i need to cover myself . he was too hard on me . he showed me the meaning of micro-inequity . but no clue on this world .a world i once wished i could join . a world were monsters are created . i was off guarded . i trusted them so much . now , here i am …. breaking down.
yes, i was too careless again . i was stepping out of my comfort zone . i am starting to trust again . i was taking off my mask . my scars are starting to bleed again . i was starting to become a person of my past . but never again .
lessons are learned .
past would be part of history .
wounds are healed but scars would be left .
i would bow down but i will stand up higher .
my weakness would be my strength and future would fall in to places .
- ang gusto ko lang naman talaga pag nagagalit ako , wag kang sumabay
-ang gusto ko lang naman pag nagtatampo ako , yakapin mo ako
- ang gusto ko lang naman pag nalulungkot ako , tabihan mo ako
- ang gusto ko lang naman pag galit ako sa mundo , wag mong isiping ikaw yun
- ang gusto ko lang naman pag wala akong magawa , makasama ka
- ang gusto ko lang naman talaga ikaw lang , buhay kita eh
- ang gusto ko lang naman pag umiiyak ka , yakapin kita
- ang gusto ko lang naman talaga wag isipin na ayaw mo na , pero pinagtulakan mo na ko di ba
- ang gusto ko lang naman ayusin natin to , pero sabi mo nga gusto mo na ng bago !
* ansakit di ba ?! pero sige , hanapin mo na xa ! hindi mo na pala ko nakikita ..
nasaktan ka na , napagod pa ! naiintindihan kita ! pinilit kong magpakamanhid sa mga sinabi mo ng araw na yun .. pinilit kong mabingi .. niyakap kita .. tinulak mo ako ! umiiyak ako .. iniwanan mo lng ako ! hindi ko masabing masaya ako kase naiiyak ako .. pero iintindihin ko .. kakayanin ko .. gusto mong magising na nakangiti .. magaan ang loob … gusto mo nang mag kanya kanya tayo ..
- ang gusto ko lang naman talaga .. makasama ka sa habang panahon pero paano ?!
“And if this is how a heart breaks, I give up. And if this is how a heart breaks, I want you to stop. And if this is how a heart breaks, I surrender. ‘Coz if love is like dying, I’ll live forever.”—Sleep of Reason - Silence of September (via krummenauer)